Rules for Dating My Daughter

Okay, so… I have to admit my kids are all getting to that age. That age, the one where they get all goo-goo eyed and go ga-ga over males. And where guys in their right minds might just notice them (not that I’ve seen many of those guys around here, but I digress).

When the thought doesn’t send me into a panic attack the size of Tokyo, I try to think about the rules I’d want gentlemen callers to know before they enter the uncharted waters of dating one of my princesses.

  1. If you don’t listen to the still, small Voice, don’t bother trying. They may not yet understand the importance of being with someone who listens to that Voice, but I do. I will find a way to run you off or turn their hearts toward someone else.
  2. Curfew is curfew. You miss curfew and cause her to miss curfew, and you will be toast. I don’t care if the car breaks down or aliens abduct you, if you don’t have her back on time, you’re not coming back.
  3. No means no. Whether it’s milkshakes before dinner, westerns for the movie, or rounding first to second, when she says no, you’d better stop… cold… dead in your tracks.
  4. If the law frowns on your relationship, I will too. If she is not 18 and you are over, you’d better wait for her. Likewise, if she’s over 18 and you’re not, she’d better wait for you.
  5. Family time is sacred. When invited and there is no conflict, you will appear for holiday dinners, summer barbecues, and other functions. I want to know you well. If I don’t like you or you can’t seem to attend, then you might not be precious enough for my princess.
  6. I am the ultimate human authority in my daughter’s life until the still, small Voice says otherwise. I didn’t like this rule when my parents had it, and breaking it caused me great heartache for a longer period of time than breaking it took me. She won’t like this rule, but I now understand its reason, and I believe I’ve invested enough in her life that she will listen. Be reasonable and logical and self-disciplined, and this rule won’t be an issue for you. Heck, if you have all the fruit of the still, small Voice (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control), that’s even better!
  7. Finally, if a situation is not covered by one of these rules, refer to rule 6. As a matter of fact, I’d memorize this rule and rule 6 if I were you.

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Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
— King Solomon

 

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