God Winked

Author’s Note: This poem is from July 1991, during the time I jokingly, lovingly, and despairingly call “my wild child years.” Not sure exactly what I was doing, but it must have been interesting. Enjoy!

Many look at the sky —
The cloud watchers —
And dream
Of dragons, unicorns, and starships.

I was blind,
Until today.

Today, I looked into the Eye of God.
Made of clouds,
It was the Eye of God nonetheless.

Dazzling white
To a shiny gold
Surrounded by periwinkle.

I was blinded,
Dazzled.

I could feel His Eye —
Staring, sizing me up.

I felt bad.
I was a soldier of His,
But not very good.
No matter what I tried it was wrong.

I deserted the good fight,
And not just once.

I thought I heard from the bench,
“And how pleads the defendant?”

Ready to shout my plea,
“Guilty! Eternity in prison,
Please discard the key.”

I’d almost lost the battle again.
Then something happened.

Christ had died for me.
I was innocent
And had no right to plead.

The prosecutor had lost 2,000 years ago
When Christ broke the chains of death,
And once again he lost —
When God winked.

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