Hi, hi! Hello, hello. Come on and lie down. It’s been a while, but it was time. I’ve been learning so much, and I’m still confused about so much.
The White Stuff
I hate all this white stuff they call snow. It’s cold, it’s wet, and it hides all the grass I’d rather pee on. And then there’s that smooth ice… it makes it easier for my humans to make me go their direction instead of me being in charge and taking them where it smells good. Why can’t the humans just let me pee near my bed inside when the white stuff is here?!?
A while back, my humans made the house all funny. They put up lights and a fake tree (it didn’t smell good, and I wasn’t allowed to pee on it). It was up for many nights. Then late one night, they put all these boxes out. I was so tempted, but I was good. Then they took the paper off and had all these things that they normally use but the things were new and different to them. Why wrap it if you’re going to use it?!?
But, then they put this funny hat on and started to bring me my own paper covered boxes. They actually expected me to unwrap them! Why should I? So they “helped” me by making my paws do the unwrapping. I guess the younger humans thought it was cute. I liked some of the things that I could eat.
I don’t like the things I couldn’t eat they call toys. I just don’t like them, I don’t see any use for them. Okay, so maybe I don’t know what to do with them and don’t know how to tell my humans that. And, I’d much rather play in the trash bag with the empty bottles and wrappers; they smell so good; again, the humans don’t like it and they turn away from me. Not for long, just long enough that I know I did something they don’t like.
I love when my humans hold me. It’s so nice. But I have this problem: the females all want to hold me like I’m a human baby. I don’t get it; I just don’t get it. I know it makes them feel good because they start to smell nice, but I just don’t like it. And if I growl, they get upset and I see backs. Why can’t they get any human males to give them a nice litter of their own?!?
Day and Night
I have finally given up trying to teach the humans about sleeping at day and playing at night. I’ve kind of decided to just accept that we’re on different schedules. I know that they will pay better attention to me if I let them sleep at night, so maybe this is an issue I can let sleep lying down.
The Big Bed
This is one issue I am waking up and keeping up. If my humans, especially the older female, are on their bed, well I should be too. I don’t care if the only male human doesn’t like it. Both of them are always kicking me off; it’s worse at night when their fur comes off.
Sometimes, when they sleep, I sneak out to the pen… er, room of one of the young females. There’s this one that looks like another. I still don’t get their names. But the one that looks like another with the good, calm, assertive energy… I sneak into her and curl up on her bed. She sleeps better, and I don’t get kicked off.
I really wish I had a dog friend I could talk to about this. I wonder when I’ll see ‘Ginz again. His human seems to be really well trained, so ‘Ginz must have lots of good ideas.