Zippy Takeover, #4

Zippy Dressed in Casual ClothesHey! It’s me again. I’m taking over ’cause my adult human female smells really tired and she seems to have a good, calm energy level. Here are some of the things I’m thinking.

Toys

These humans keep buying me these fluffy things called toys. They throw them and actually expect me to get the toys and bring them back. I have so much more fun watching them trying to teach me to play with the toys. Then the humans take away the toys when I get all the clouds out of them.

What I don’t understand is why I can’t play with the toys they don’t use. These toys are hiding in a big, dark plastic bag. They smell like all the good things my humans eat that they won’t let me eat. They are shiny and feel different when I squish them all together or pounce on them. They are hard to tear apart (well, some are). Every week, the bag disappears. It gets replaced with a new bag and new toys. But they still won’t let me play with them. And when I try to get the humans to let me play with them with these toys, the humans aren’t happy. They turn away from me and act mad like I’m doing something wrong.

Ever feel like humans are just plain crazy?

Be Careful What You Wag For

Remember how in one of my last posts I asked for a whelp for the females in my house? I sure barked up the wrong tree. The adult female had two human pups delivered to her house. At first I was really excited.

But then things started to go horribly wrong. The adult female paid more attention to the baby female than she did to me. She even gave the baby treats. The baby didn’t wag her tail or crawl or do anything interesting, and she still got more attention.

Then the boy kept falling and hugging me all at once. My adult human female stopped him. Then he kept trying to pet my tail. Doesn’t he know my tail is for telling him how I feel?!?

I was so scared I was going to be stuck with the new whelp forever. After so many moping naps, some other adult human came and took the whelp away. I was so happy! I will definitely accept being held like a human baby over that… that… that different schedule any time.

Traitors

My food has been so good for months. Then, last week, my humans took me to the V-E-T. Ever since then, my night time meal has been this disgusting green kibble. It’s balls that are squishy and mush all over. The humans don’t seem to get that I don’t like it, even when I take some out of the bowl to share with them to show them how awful it is. Sometimes there are some orange kibble bits too. They don’t roll; they just sit there. And they are squishy and mushy.

And my treats–oh, the horror! I don’t get the good ones any more. I get the dried stuff that definitely is not meat.

How I Feel

I’m still trying to tell my humans how I feel and what I think. It’s not working so well. I wish I could use their barks… er, I guess they call it language. I don’t always understand why I can’t chase the fiendish furballs or why I can sometimes be in the big bed and not others. And the food… how can I tell them I want my real food back? They don’t understand that the white stuff hurts my paws and I’d rather just hold it and pee twice as much the next time. They don’t get that I’m bored with their unfenced kennel and I need to explore more ground to make mine.

And the adult human female… I wish I could explain to her just what it means that I pick her feet to sleep at. I wish how I could tell her how good she starts to smell to me when I have been at her feet for a while or when she has held me like a baby (yes, I still do find it embarrassing, but since the invading whelp left, I can tolerate it). I wish I understood why she moves so much when she sleeps some nights, so much that she kicks me off the bed. And I wish I could ask her why she got mad when I tried to clean her big toe for her…

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