Author’s Note: I wish I knew how to find some of the people I wrote about before I was ever a legal adult. Wait–I don’t think that’s such a hot idea. Believe it or not, this one was written for a few nights’ fling. I gave myself some very good advice, but I don’t think I ever followed it. I will need to rewrite a few lines on the fly because I actually used a name, a first name without a last name.
I didn’t know what to get you,
To show you I don’t hate you.
I thought, fretted, worried,
Then thought some more.
We were always open,
Always honest with each other.
I appreciated that,
And I thought you might too.
I fell too hard, too fast,
With no one there to catch me.
You respected me,
Treated me like I mattered.
No one ever treated me like that and meant it.
Heart clouded head,
And emotion blinded logic.
There was a point,
I’m sure you know it,
Where I might have thrown away my future,
My hard work down the drain.
You slowed things down,
And I respected that;
Most would have taken advantage of me.
I finally began to see myself for what I was worth,
And I valued what I saw;
And you left,
For reasons “flawlessly logical.”
At first I told my broken self you didn’t care,
And I found comfort.
As my life fell back in place,
The dark glasses slid from my face;
I thank you.
You gave me what I denied myself–
Time to think, to adjust, to heal, to seek,
And to ask for forgiveness.
How I must have hurt you
To throw your gift back at you,
Seemingly unaccepted, unwanted!
I’m not pleading to have you back in my life;
That’s your choice.
I just wanted to let you know
That now I respect your decision.
So many things you told me about life
Have fallen into place as truth,
So that only a fool wouldn’t listen.
Happy birthday, my friend!
The past has passed;
Live for today,
For the future is as bright as the love of God.