Let’s Think about Sex

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about sexual orientation and gender identity. I mean, it’s hard not to with all that’s happened with the Supreme Court decision to usurp state’s rights over gay marriage.

I get heterosexual orientation. That’s easy. Two people of two different biological genders come together.

I (vaguely) understand homosexual orientation. For whatever reason, a person is sexually attracted to people of the same biological gender. It’s sin for me, but I can’t control you so if it floats your boat I’m not going to stop you; however, I also don’t want to be asked to applaud you. (Don’t ask and don’t tell is probably a pretty good policy on many things, not just sexual orientation.)

I don’t completely understand bisexual orientation. In effect, every biological gender is fair game. No one is off limits. Also take into account gender identity–women feeling that their biological identity doesn’t represent your emotional identity of male or men feeling that their biological identity doesn’t represent your emotional identity of female.

My head is already reeling. Who can blame me? Yet, I wonder if there is a component that’s missing in the whole sexuality and gender component. I wonder if there isn’t a sexual orientation based not on biology but based more on personality and ways of reason and logic.

This would best be summed up as the FB meme once suggested: sapiosexual. Sapiosexuals struggle because they don’t identify sexual orientation and attraction based on gender. They identify sexual attraction based on who the person is, how the person thinks, and how the person acts and expresses him- or herself.

While a component may be biologically based, the rest is up to how the person responds to nurture and the environment. In this orientation, body doesn’t come into play until the person in the relationship is well known and an emotional connection–yes, even emotional intimacy–has developed. They are attracted to the mind, the wisdom in the partner.

I suspect this would explain most people who choose to identify as bisexual. I also suspect because sapiosexual is a higher, more intellectual form of attraction that it will never truly exist.

PS: Even if I were sapiosexual, as a Christian I would have to then add the prism of what does God’s Word say about sexuality–one man and woman in a mutually exclusive marriage for life. I would then have to choose to express my sexuality in alignment with the Truth of God’s Word whether I like what I read or not. And no, we’re not dealing with gender identity in this post–the feminazi in me needs some rest and she won’t rest if she starts.


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