I know the last few pieces have been more dark and somber. I do thank you for sticking with me through it. Yet I think it was time to lance that roiling mess in my heart. I’m hoping not to write on it again… ever… But it’s like most things in life… it’s cyclical, and the next time will be better.
I would like to share some final related thoughts as Christmas nears and I prepare to celebrate the birth of the Light of the World. Even as I write these, Zippy is scratching at his doggy bed waiting to take over my keyboard, and I have a new poem for my hubby just in time for Christmas.
First, you would think after my experience I would support gun control. I do not. No law will ever stop those hellbent on destruction and chaos from creating it. Rather I support teaching all of us–gun owners and the gun-shy alike– what responsible gun ownership and responsible gun handling look like. When you know what should be, it’s easier to recognize what isn’t. Also, I support having game plans for those in the presence of irresponsible gun owners and handlers, as well as means for reporting those irresponsible with gun ownership and handling.
Second, I encourage you to do some research on Della Reese. Ignore her days on Touched by an Angel; ignore her years as a minister of God’s grace. Find information on her abuse and survival. I found a good summary on YouTube. While my abuse was a little different (I was blessed to leave before I had marks on my body), her openness to discuss her situation and how much experience she had before picking her abuser as her partner helped me to recognize that nothing was my fault and gave me the courage to face the darker parts of my abuse history.
Third, some abusers can change. It takes Christ and a lot of hard work. If they change, they do deserve a second chance…with appropriate supports and supervision. However, the victims and survivors will have feelings that should be considered as well.
Finally, this is a hard time of year for some. I’m including some related hotline numbers and web sites. Please don’t become a statistic if you’re in a bad situation; choose life and hope and get help.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Time is flying. My youngest is back to school while my twins are pounding the pavement looking for gainful employment. My husband has learned he needs both hips replaced, with the first surgery just in time for the holidays.
Feel like you need a breath? I did, and I do. I’m finding my writing comes in cycles. I go days with nothing, and then in one day I can write several pieces.
I’m trying to be a little disciplined and give you as my audience small bits at regulated intervals. Yet, I don’t want to schedule so far out that doomsday happens, and I’m posting to no one for a month.
My husband, dreadfully concerned for my health and sanity and thereby the sanity of all I live with, sent me away for a weekend to an all nations powwow. Not his choice, mine. Mostly out of curiosity and my need for a slower pace.
The pieces that are scheduled for the next three weeks are written as a result of that event. Mind you, I’m not native, so don’t look at these pieces as the be all and end all of native lore. They’re just my thoughts and feelings as I attended and browsed bazaar stalls and smelled wonderful smells that still have my eyes watery and sticky (yeah, allergies aren’t good).
Also know that there is only respect and no offense intended.
It is marching band season for one, cheering season for another (who is getting weekly allergy shots and now needs to carry an Epi-pen), and general spunk and attitude season for the third. (Yes, the parental taxi is overworked and underpaid! =) )
In addition, I’ve been working with my dog. I don’t say much since she magically disappeared from our home despite a locked door. I offered forgiveness. She was returned. And she was shattered… and I didn’t know quite how to express how I felt or the help I needed for her.
I am experimenting with helping her heal by simply loving her based on her non-verbal cues. I chose to assume something so traumatic happened to her when she was outside the home that she couldn’t communicate with us. I sent her to the vet (and there will be follow up) to ensure physical issues were immediately covered. The “emotional” issues will take longer with a lot of intensive work. (Yes, they may even become blog fodder.)
Even though I’ve not been physically online, I’ve been thinking and praying about future issues to cover. At the present, I think we’ll be doing the following:
More dragons to tame: Christians have so many issues we face these days. Sometimes, we can’t even name what we’re fighting. I hope, by sharing my perspective, I might give a name and face to an issue and perhaps guidance on handling that issue.
Profiles of diversity: I grew up in a home that had extended family members in a host of Christian denominations. We learned tolerance and respect through service to each other and dialogue. I want to take that a step further. My Facebook friends list has some unique people in it that most would not expect from a Christian of my belief system. I want to tip my hat to these people who tolerate me by giving them an open forum for just one blog entry to try to explain what they believe and why. Even if we choose to agree to disagree, understanding where another comes from can be invaluable in communicating with them.
Miscellaneous mystery posts: I seem to be going through a time of rapid personal growth as well as unique adversarial challenges. As a writer, sometimes I can only process things if I write about them. So I may share my thought processes on various topics or issues just to present a unique perspective.
So be please bear with me as my writing hits peaks and troughs…I’m not done letting my still, small Voice deal with me yet.